A Day in the Life

Wednesday January 18, 2016

6:30am – alarm goes off. Hit snooze. 

6:39am – snooze.

6:48am – snooze. 

6:57am – get out of bed. Jokes. Check Instagram, fb, email, snapchat, generally waste time. 

7:03am – actually get out of bed. Go check on Desmond to see if he is out of HIS bed yet. Discover him awake, bed made, grinning like a madman and giving me two thumbs up. What a guy. Pick out his clothes, Corban’s clothes, instruct both to change into a new pair of underwear. Yes, I know it doesn’t look dirty. Yes, you still have to change it. Clap hands together 1-2-3 in quick succession so they know I mean business. 

7:08am – put bagels in toaster, ask Desmond to get the cream cheese out and smear the bagels once they pop. 

7:09am – hop in shower. 

7:12am – decide on an outfit. Search for an unnecessarily long period of time for pleather leggings, admit defeat, compromise with black jeggings, get dressed. Brush teeth. Attempt hairdo. Give up and put a toque on (thank you, Winter). 

7:21am – Corban is yelling at me from upstairs because ‘Jasper is awake! Jasper is awake!!’ Go upstairs to get him out of his crib, notice on the way that the bagels have NOT been smeared with cream cheese. Interrogate 5 year old. He has decided he wants jam instead. Jam is much messier, I reason. Honey badger doesn’t care. Begging ensues. Get out jam and quickly assemble bagels. Call for Corban, get the older two seated for breakfast. Make coffee. 

7:26am – finally get upstairs to deal with Jasper. He is crying and covered in snot. I wipe him off with baby wipes and start to change his diaper. Rowan wanders into the room, I ask him to take his PJs off. He obliges. Suddenly, I smell poop. I look over just in time to see him flicking his pull up off and onto my leg – covered in poo. Jeggings are compromised. Peel them off, put completely naked Jasper into the crib, pick Rowan up and maneuver him onto the change table while trying to minimize the smelly carnage. Use so many baby wipes. Remind him that poo goes in the potty. Use the phrase ‘Lord have mercy’ several times. Wipe down change table, grab crying baby, finally get his diaper on and say a silent prayer of thanks that he did not pee all over his sheets. Get baby dressed, get Rowan dressed, deal with twisted sock seam meltdown. 

7:40am – Head downstairs. Put Jasper in high chair, placate with measuring cups. Assemble Desmond’s lunch. Drink some coffee. Get milk into a bottle for Jasper, milk into a sippy cup for Rowan, and water into cups for the older boys. Put lunch in lunch kit and then lunch kit in backpack. Clint texts me to say good morning. I briefly fill him in on the poo fiasco. 

7:45am – realize I haven’t put on another pair of pants yet, proceed to do so. Search in vain for pleather leggings – where are youuu?? Settle on another pair of jeggings. Hear a crash from downstairs, Corban yells that ‘Jasper fell out of the highchair!!’ Go down to soothe/inspect screaming baby. Clint calls to make sure I’m not having a nervous breakdown after the poo incident. I reassure him of my sanity while the baby screams in the background. 

7:53am – Start up the Expedition, instruct children to put on their boots. Make another coffee. 

8:00am – begin the load up. Baby first, then Rowan. No, you can’t sit in Desmond’s seat. No, I don’t know where your milk is. No, I don’t know where your water bottle is. So many buckles. Desmond and Corban load up, mercifully they can buckle themselves in. 

8:08am – collect purse, parka, Desmond’s snow pants, Jasper’s bottle and my coffee from the house. Load myself up. 

8:10am – pull out of the driveway. 

8:36am – arrive at Desmond’s school. Unload him and get his jacket/backpack on and wave as he saunters off. 

8:39am – head for the car wash. Truck is so filthy I can’t even open the trunk without getting mud smeared. Children are awestruck by the whole thing, pat self on back for creating this magical childhood moment for them.

8:50am – take shiny, clean vehicle through the McDonald’s drive thru, since I haven’t had breakfast yet. Use coupon to purchase breakfast meal for $3.50. Pat self on back again for being so frugal. Order some croissants for the kids. 

8:53am – head home. 

9:22am – arrive home. Unload children. Jasper has fallen asleep and he’s covered in snot again. Situate middle children at the table with the croissants. Attempt to clean snot covered baby. Remember that I forgot to give him his milk, sit down on couch to feed it to him. 

9:37am – place milk-filled baby onto living room floor. Run to set up the baby gate so that he doesn’t crawl into the kitchen and get into the cupboards. Change into ‘cleaning clothes’. Attempt to clean kitchen. 

10:00am – baby is crying. Put him in high chair, fasten safety belt, make him some toast. 

10:07am – Rowan is crying. His Lego ship fell apart. Fix ship. Back to kitchen clean up attempt. 

10:15am – baby is crying. Wipe up toast crumbs and place him on living room floor with his toys. 

10:20-11:00am – Jasper and Rowan take turns crying. I take Rowan downstairs to play Lego with Corban. Finally decide to put Jasper down for an early nap, since we have to pick Desmond up during his usual nap time anyway. 

11:04am – put on a load of laundry. 

11:07am – Rowan is crying again. Go down to the family room to discover that Corban has taken all his Lego men away. Lose my mind. 

11:12am – hugs for everyone. Mommy loves you. Play Lego and build ships with my boys. 

11:30am – take Rowan upstairs for a nap. Sing The Bear Went Over the Moutain, Climb Climb Up Sunshine Mountain, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Mary Had a Little Lamb and The Alphabet

11:45am – tackle laundry. 

12:00pm – Send Corban back to the family room for quiet time. Make some green tea. Collapse onto couch. Start writing this blog post. 

1:00pm – hear Rowan wake up and start playing in his room. Contemplate lunch plans. Zone out on YouTube. 

1:30pm – extract self from couch. Get lunch started. 

1:45pm – change back into normal clothes. Take photo to prove to Clint that I did get dressed today, on the off chance that I change into my PJs before he gets home…

2:00pm – get middle children to table for lunch. Eat. 

2:18pm – start up Expedition. Get middle children into boots/jackets/hats. Pose for photo. Buckle buckle buckle buckle etc. 

2:26pm – make coffee. Wake baby. Find his hat. Buckle buckle buckle. 

2:31pm – pull out of driveway for school pick up. 

3:03pm – arrive at school. Collect child. Squeeze sister in law who has been away for a week. Superspeed chat. 

3:24pm – leave school. Head to Lordco to pick up stuff for Clint. 

3:39pm – head home. 

4:06pm – arrive home. Have older two children tidy disaster zone family room. Put leftovers in oven to reheat. 

4:20pm – Netflix and chill for the kids. Check on dinner. Clean kitchen. Put away laundry. Feed the baby a bottle. 

4:55pm – get text from Clinton saying he will be late. Prepare mentally. 

5:00pm – serve dinner early. 

5:15pm – hide in bathroom from unreasonable, screaming 2 year old. Call husband for moral support/to talk me down. 

5:20pm – eat dinner while feeding the baby his dinner. 

5:30pm – bathtime. In shifts. Younger set, then older set. 

6:15pm – get younger two into PJs. Feed Jasper a bottle. 

6:30pm – more laundry. 

6:55pm – put Rowan to bed. 

7:00pm – put Jasper to bed. 

7:05pm – Desmond puts himself to bed. Again, what a guy. 

7:07pm – notice downstairs toilet is clogged. Plunge it. Notice bathroom is filthy. Clean it. 

7:20pm – have shower. Put on PJs. Make mental note to show Clinton the above selfie. 

7:45pm – put Corban to bed. 

7:50pm – make decaf coffee.

8:14pm – Clinton gets home. Reheat dinner. Again. 

8:40pm – Netflix. 

Happy Wednesday, ya’ll!


7 thoughts on “A Day in the Life

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