Doing It All

I got the stomach flu yesterday – and I’m not even mad. Let’s back it up a bit…

Desmond was scheduled to play his first ever hockey tournament on Saturday January 28th in Revelstoke. I had been looking forward to it for weeks. It seemed like a great way for Desmond to bond with his teammates, while allowing me to hang out with some of the other hockey moms and socialize. I had planned to have my mom watch the younger two boys, since we would have to leave home at 6:30am and the tournament ran until 3pm. Corban would happily watch from the stands and run around with the other hockey siblings, but the younger two would be less than enthusiastic about a full day of hockey, especially after such an early start. 

Fast forward to Wednesday January 25th. Many of our friends and family had been hit by the dreaded Norovirus, and I had been anticipating its gruesome arrival in our home. 4:30pm – Corban projectile vomits all over the kitchen floor. I immediately quarantined him to his room and set about bleaching everything I could to prevent spreading the virus. I began the first of many prayers that Desmond and I would be spared this particular burden, at the very least until after the tournament. 

Thursday January 26th – Clinton is the next victim. I intensify my bleaching efforts and amp up the prayers. 

Friday January 27th – My mom offered to take Rowan for the day, so I dropped him off after I did the school run. She texted me around noon to say that she had thrown her back out while putting him on the toilet (potty training you scoundrel!!) and was in no shape to be watching Jasper the next day during the tournament. She said she would keep Rowan for the night anyway, since he was generally content to watch Paw Patrol and play trucks with her on the couch. Later that evening, Clinton informs me that he has to work the next day.  

Cue mental breakdown. 

Clint got that wide eyed look that he only gets when I’m letting the real crazy out. Maybe I should just skip the tournament…? He suggested. Surely it’s not worth all this stress. 

Tears.

I felt so guilty that Desmond was going to miss his tournament, because there was no way I could manage to bring all the kids with me. 

I was actually preparing myself for how I was going to break it to him when suddenly I went –

Wait…what??

When had I become so helpless as a mother? What made me think I was incapable of bringing all the kids? I remembered a conversation Clinton and I had recently about how ‘spoiled’ I have been since we moved up here. With both my parents and his living close by, I have had more help than ever before with the boys. Here I can drop a kid or two off with Nana or Grandma while I run errands or do a school run. On the Island I had to bring the kids with me everywhere, or I wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere. It has been amazing to have so much support, but I also feel like I have become more dependent on it that I should be. Yes, it is easier to grocery shop without the kids – but that doesn’t mean I am any less capable of grocery shopping with all the kids now than I was 8 months ago. I’m just less used to it. It’s as if I had lost my mothering mojo. 

Then I remembered this picture, which I found while sifting through photos for Jasper’s 1 Year blog post:

This was taken on April 16, 2016. Jasper was only 3 months old and I was in the throes of packing and purging for our move. Alone. With all four kids. I decided one morning, on a total whim, to pack up the whole crew and head to Victoria for the day. It was gorgeous and sunny out and who knew when we would see the ocean again after we moved? I loaded up the boys, along with their bikes/scooters/stroller and headed out. It was an INCREDIBLE DAY. We walked/rode 4 km along the ocean and had a picnic lunch in just the most picturesque spot ever. The boys had been begging to have a picnic for weeks and they loved every minute of it. 

I remember feeling like superwoman after that day. It was so fun and I felt like the boys and I got to really enjoy our time together. I realized that I rarely did things with all the boys anymore, especially since Desmond had started school. Actually, when I first scrolled past this picture a few weeks ago I thought it was taken before Jasper was born. Because why/how would I have taken all four kids to Victoria by myself??

I realized that I needed another day like that. 

I called my mom and she assured me that they would be fine to watch Rowan the next day, so I was down to just three – which felt like a bit of a cheat, but also like a bit of an ease back in to the whole solo-wrangling thing. 

I got mega organized. I packed up the diaper bag (which hadn’t been done in ages – I found a newborn diaper in there lol…), did up a full lunch kit of snacks (#corban), got the Expedition loaded up the night before with everything we would need for the day, and went to bed feeling a lot less helpless and a lot more pumped. 

I got up at 5:45am, showered/got dressed/primped and made myself a double espresso for the road. I transferred all three boys to the truck in their jammies (and mostly asleep – ha!) and pulled out of the driveway at 6:30 – right on time. 

We got to Revelstoke at 7:30 and I strapped Jasper into my trusty Ergo so I could be handsfree to get Desmond into his gear.

This is actually a pic from later in the day, after Jasper woke up from his nap – hence his rosy cheeks!

It was an AWESOME day. Desmond got to play three games, in between hanging out with his buddies and goofing around.

Kung Fu Panda poses, obviously.

During his third game – tuckered right out!

His first medal!

 

We got home at 4:30pm. It was a busy day, but so worth it. I remember checking my phone after Desmond’s first game and seeing a text from Clint that just said ‘YOU. ARE. WONDERWOMAN.’ And I actually teared up. He had gone to bed long before I had the night before, so I hadn’t gone over my mini epiphany with him yet. I really had done it, though. And not only done it, but enjoyed it. I know this may seem insignificant to some, but it was really what I needed right now. It’s so easy as a mom to get lost in the monotony of laundry/housework/to do lists/poopy diapers/MORE LAUNDRY. Sometimes you just need a WIN. And I got that on Saturday. Plus, I didn’t get the stomach flu! Until Monday. Which I am also counting as a win. Prayer works, people! 

Happy Thursday, friends. Only 24ish hours until wing night.